What is a Relationship?
What IS a relationship anyway? Relationship is a word I see so often in articles on the Internet, in marketing campaigns for Webinars and in the titles of experts on the subject of … relationships.
Most of us think of relationships as being romantic/physical in nature and no wonder, most people seem to either want to establish one or improve the one they have, still, this type of relationship is the 4th out of 4 definitions of relationship in the dictionary.
The first definition of relationship* is: a connection, association or involvement. More than with your beloved, you are in relationship with family members, friends, time, food, sex, money, exercise, work, your body, feelings, pets, nature and the list goes on.
You might be at total ease in the world of time but not money, find ease with friends but not with your parents or kids, find food is a struggle but exercise is easy. How can I be the central point in all of my interactions but find some easy and some hard? Where do you feel powerful and where do you see that you give that away?
A male friend of mine was very focused in his work pursuits, knew what he wanted and went after it but when it came to women, he seemed to go belly up and without direction – he gave up his power to those who chose him. He might have asked himself how that pattern was familiar or how he kept that behavior going.
Think about how open, curious and willing to learn you are in relationships of both ease and difficulty. If you can avoid the view that “that’s the way it is” you can loosen the absoluteness of your perception. You already know that time can feel like it is speeding along or dragging by – both seem real. Ask yourself what beliefs and physical postures you hold so as to maintain your perceptions both positive and negative. Chances are a loose, open, curious state of wonder, with deep breaths and movement accompany your easeful relationships and a contracted, closed certainty, with little breath or movement guarantees a bumpier ride.
As always, I provide links to supplemental information and tools in the resources section below. The Work of Byron Katie suggests a quick four-question approach to shake up your thinking and perceptions which is one great way to keep ALL of your relationships fresh, spicy and humming along.
It’s all improv,
Jody Kaylor
*Based on The Random House dictionary
Recommended resources: