Staying Safe
I wrote an article for Your Tango that they entitled: How to Feel Safe When The Violence in The World Terrifies You and it was posted right away to YT’s home and Experts pages. I feel happy and honored! They deleted what I think are a couple of key points in their editing process so below is the version I submitted. I’d love for you to get the full benefit of the missing content.
Staying Safe: You Can’t… and You Can!
Even before the shooting in San Bernadino and terrorist attacks in Paris, Beirut and Kenya, were you wondering how to keep yourself and your family safe? It’s often something we ask others – usually politicians – to take care of for us which can actually magnify a sense of powerlessness. It’s as if we think safety is out of our control. While some things are, feeling safe starts from within. Appropriate fear is wired into our systems, inherited from our ancestors who had large animals of prey stalking them as food.
There’s a difference between the grip of the primal, reactive fear and that quiet fear whisper – intuition – that says “Don’t go down that street tonight.” A long life is not guaranteed to anyone, but some things are under your control, things that could lengthen your life – and reduce fear along the way.
Asking the government to do what it can is a great start, and there are ways to tame gripping fear, actions that are an inside job. Our lives reflect our beliefs, thoughts and actions and constant fear and baseless worrying are not among the most life-affirming choices we could make. The poet Hafiz says: “Fear is the cheapest room in the house. I’d like to see you living in better conditions.” I love that image so check out the ‘living conditions’ in my house and see if they interest you.
- Let’s face it, no really, face it. Your chances are probably very, very slim that terrorists will end your life. I live in the U.S. where far more deaths from terrorist acts occur at the hands of our own citizens than from Jihadists per this NY Times article. Has the media incited you to believe there is a war on cops? NPR debunks that myth in this article . Do your research and get some facts about your specific fears from a credible news source. Perhaps the opposite of living is not dying, perhaps it is living in constant fear. Face and name how you feel, what your actual thoughts are, what you believe and why you believe it. Don’t buy into a vague cloud of fear.
- Orient yourself to the present moment, the here and now. Open your belly and breathe deeply and feel the open spaces in your body and know that you are safe right now…and the next now moment, and the next. Move your body in gentle ways to expand the good feelings you generate.It is said that whatever we focus on, we get more of so let some of your fearful thoughts just move on through and choose better ones. I like to keep a daily diversion at hand. By that I mean I choose something each morning that I want to appreciate – trees, my eyesight, my home, a loved one – and when I want to divert my mind from thoughts that aren’t helpful I get to enjoy all the positive feelings that appreciating brings me, right here, right now. Much better living conditions and without denial after facing what is so. My friend Dr. Kathlyn Hendricks narrates this white board animation video of four moves designed by the Hendricks Institute to melt fear in the body. Try them on.
- Live anyway, in a way that connects you to your inner knowing.Vague uneasiness might show up on a regular basis, wanting to paint your world a nasty shade of fear, but don’t let it. Create a life focused on living, not dying. A life fully lived is a life of fully-lived moments strung together. What makes your life a happy successful one? Do more of that. It is the absence of truly living that people are said to regret as they approach death.I make sure I am up-to-date with everyone I care about; I share what I want those people to know. It might be that I love them or the ways they have had a positive impact on my life. I live with no regrets on that level, as death is a predictably unpredictable part of life.I encourage everyone to develop inner peace through meditation and a strong inner language through frequent use of intuition. I created a decision-making process that you can watch in this video. It is a great starting place for tapping into your personal wisdom, wisdom that could end up keeping you safe with a whisper.
- The lifestyle factor.British chef Jamie Oliver says, “Homicide is 0.8% of deaths. Diet-related disease is over 60%, but no one fucking talks about it.” Our newsreaders are out for ratings and often use fear-mongering to get them.We don’t want to hear that a healthy diet, exercise and a healthy lifestyle (including emotions and connection) prevent the vast majority of deaths. That would put the onus back on us and not everyone wants to face and take responsibility for it. High blood pressure, smoking or high cholesterol are more likely to be implicated in the death of the average American or Brit than a terrorist of any origin. A sedentary lifestyle and low consumption of fruits and vegetables are things that most of us can influence.
As we sit on the couch, watching the news, imagining invasions of terrorists, what’s true is that it’s the deterioration of our soil, water, air and food supply, and the overconsumption of sugar-filled and processed foods that are the threats we live with every day and even invite in. Safe? Maybe. A long life of full vitality? Not likely. Better – and longer – living conditions are ripe for the plucking.
It’s all improv,
Jody Kaylor
Related Resources:
“It’s not death that a man should fear, but he should fear never beginning to live.” – Marcus Aurelius
That Peanuts cartoon where Charlie Brown says “Some day we will all die, Snoopy!” and Snoopy says “True, but on the other days, we will not.”