Are Categories Killing Your Curiosity?
The contents of this newsletter first appeared on Your Tango. December’s newsletter got picked up from YT for syndication on Ravishly
How would you describe yourself? We have some sense of our traits and, more often than not, these traits were given to us as youngsters. “Suzy is our brainy child.” A parent might say, or “Jimmy is such a performer.” Over time you come to know yourself by qualities like punctual, quick thinking and friendly, or other labels such as lazy, greedy or selfish. The realities we live are shaped by the meaning we give the people and experiences in life, as well as the labels and categories we assign to things, people – and ourselves.
Politics, rival teams, foreigners and people of other religions are all examples of ways of creating me vs. you and us vs. them environments. Even fun categories like astrological signs can be limiting if you don’t bring curiosity with you to the exploration. When navigating the dating world, while it is important to know your deal-breakers, it’s also in your interest to know that labels can be limiting.
For decades, businesses and individuals have been relying on the 16 personality categories created by taking the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator test, yet in a video from Vox, the conclusion reached was: “The test is completely meaningless.” I have retained only one useful nugget of insight from the MBTI test. The category they put me in, not so much.
What can you do to limit labeling?
Live where real life transformation happens and learn to ignite your curiosity:
- Choose to keep an open mind. This is an active choice and means checking regularly to see if you are open and curious, or closed. Life is always presenting opportunities to learn about it and yourself; stay neutral and see what is true for you in that moment. Don’t assume that, because you hated broccoli as a child, you still do. What’s true now?
- Listen to others’ opinions. Notice if you are trying to convince someone of your position. A person with a position, can be like being a block of concrete vs. having an opinion and holding it with a looser grip. If you are not listening, or being listened to, if someone is not showing you open curiosity then you are not likely to have a genuine exchange of ideas and feelings. Check for preconceived ideas about others – and yourself!
- Vibrate at hmmm… Making an audible, questioning hmmm vibration from your head to your toes changes your brain physiology. Get out of your reactive brain and see what’s happening in your creative brain, which is where new ideas are discovered. A dog often takes the same route every day and finds genuine excitement in doing so – because she remains curious. She anticipates finding something new, and will, if she remains open and expectant.
- Are you contracting against or expanding toward? Check in to see what your body is doing and feeling. Take a moment, take a breath and notice if you feel contracted anywhere in your body. If so, breath into that place – take a few deep breaths and come back to feeling an openness in your body. Anger can be a sign of some type of trespass and fear can signal something to avoid OR it can tell you that you are excited about a possibility. The body has intelligence – valuable information – that can assist you in making decisions and taking action.
- Change is constant by the way. Nothing stays the same, so go with it and make it easier to become the current version of your evolving self. Actively wonder how you see yourself, yet hold it loosely and, if you put someone else in a category, hold that very loosely. And sprinkle life liberally with open curiosity, it will lighten you up and light your way.
It’s all improv,
Jody Kaylor
Related Resources:
Byron Katie: The Work
Book: Biology of Belief, 10th anniversary
Body Intelligence: Video